Let me Clear my Throat

Finally.  I exhaled.  School is over.  Graduation school is over.  I have completed my second Master's degree, a Master of Arts in Teaching.  Funny, I never thought anything would feel as good as receiving my MBA.  But this was so much better.  So much more...real.

I went out to celebrate with my brother and sister in law last night as they graciously offered to take me out for dinner.  I had gotten soaked in the storm, my flip flop broke and my nail had chipped.  I looked REAL good.  I should have known something was up when, my almost 3 year old nephew, (the Nugget as most of you know him) fell and cut his lip.  There was blood and he was so upset.  After checking on him, my brother said, "ok let's you and I go and Katie will meet us there."  I was like, "Dude, your kid might need stitches, we aren't going anywhere!"  He was all, "YES WE ARE!" As it turned out, Nugget was ok and we all left together.  I thought it was odd my brother was so adamant.  As we valeted and walked into the restaurant I was none the wiser to what was about to ensue.  We walked to the back of the restaurant which, I thought was normal since we had Isaiah with us and they were going to give us some space.  But there in the back were 16 of my closest friends, there to celebrate me....organized by my brother and sister in law.  I cried because I was confused and then overwhelmed with appreciation and love.  The people in the back of that restaurant had seen me through one of the toughest but most rewarding years of my life.  When my brother gave a speech I lost it again.  Ironically, one of my best friends who couldn't be there, Dolce, organized a dinner next weekend with a bunch or girlfriends as well. Together these 2 groups of people were my support system this past year. I am beyond humbled by the love and support.  It means so much to know people understand how important the journey is I have embarked upon.
My heart is full because of you.  I wrote this in thanks for you:

Maybe you sent a text on what happen to be a rough day,

" just checking in to see if you're doing ok";

Maybe you called on a Friday night,

Knowing lesson plans were for me all that were in sight;

Maybe at Starbucks you stopped by,

On a Saturday night,just to say hi;

Maybe you raised my name in prayer 

At your church, temple or synagogue, I felt you there;

Maybe you sent a care pack w stash

Filled with a pencil sharper we all hoped would last;

Maybe you posted on my wall,

To tell me you're thinking about me, that's all;

I am blessed beyond the my wildest dreams, 

with friends and family who support me;

Whatever it was and no matter how small, 

I wouldn't be here without you all.

Thank you to everyone near and far who supported, loved and celebrated my journey.  

It takes a village to educate our youth and you are part of that village for me. 

I may or may not blog over the summer, because, contrary to popular believe, there is MUCH to be done.  Once I get my grade level, there is data to pour over, common core to align with des cartes skill strands, unit planning, 3 weeks of professional development and of course - getting my classroom ready!

If you would like to support my classroom, please click the link below or feel free to forward.  Thank you so much in advance!  And thank you EVERYONE that has lent their continued support!  I get every ounce of energy and inspiration from you.

Click HERE to Adopt my Classroom!

You cannot expect people to understand your grind. It is not theirs to make sense of, it's yours. Stay focused and fulfill your destiny.                -Tsepiso Makhubedu

Still I Rise...

4 days until graduation.  AUSL graduation that is.  11 days until NLU and the Residency is completed.  This is the home stretch and yet I am reluctant to completely exhale - yet.  There is a still a presentation to complete for a class, 4 more classes, 8th grade ribbon pinning, 8th grade luncheon, 8th grade graduation.  But in a blink of an eye it is going to be over.  Technically, my first class of kids.  I'm going to sob like a baby at their graduation.

Friday night we chaperoned the middle school dance.  The kids ate pizza, and drank snow cones, and DANCED!  I don't mean like move around a little on the floor...my westside babies bring it!  So much so, that they convince Mrs. Ray and I to Nae Nae (ridiculous dance).  It was a sight I am sure. Saturday we took the 8th grade to Dave and Busters for a class trip.  It was fun to be outside the school with the kids and just relaxed - no level zero, no checking for understanding, and no do it again unless it was me winning tickets!  LOL

I received a MOU (memorandum of understanding) from my principal (for next year) so that I may commit to AUSL and all they require and she may begin staffing us.  I am trying to not be over anxious and keep in mind all I know from working with various administrators - less is more. Meaning, at this point she is overwhelmed with start up for her new school and the last thing she needs is lots and lots of emails from teachers.  Yet, I want to email her everyday and tell her how excited I am and offer ways to help.  But I don't, because that would make me crazy :)

I have been on autopilot for a minute now, and today, my principal (current school) caught me off guard.  I was in the office faxing something for award plaques or something and usually she doesn't really acknowledge me, but today she did.  We politely chatted, and then she asked me, " So, Ms. Ohannes, did you ever think you weren't going to make it?"  I didn't hesitate because at forty-freaking-three there are some things you just don't pause for because you know...so I said, "no, I never had a doubt I would make it. Some days were rough, and I cried, but there was never a doubt I was coming back the next day." To which she replied, "there were days I didn't think you'd make it....you've come a long way."  Now,  I have to be honest, while this is the most difficult thing I have ever done,  there was never a thought or a possibility in my mind that it just, "wouldn't work out."  I didn't make this decision over light beers at a frat party with a damn alt rock band playing in the background.  I changed my life.  So no, I never had the thought I wouldn't make it....and isn't that a good thing?  I would usually end my interaction with her upon her verbal pinch, but I couldn't this time.  I responded, "at 43, just giving up isn't an option.  Actually, I've never had that option and don't foresee it in the near future especially now.  Furthermore, the difficult days didn't define me."

There are some things I have learned through this experience, one of which is, everyone does not want to see you succeed.  I mean, I knew that in the business world, but I guess I figured it would be different when the commodity is children.  Sadly, it is not.  Furthermore, I cannot assume my passion to eventually go into school leadership will be well received by all.  In fact, there will be those that don't believe I belong there....for various reasons, but that's ok.   There were individuals this year that purposely kept me from leadership opportunities within the program - but that's ok. All I can do in continue to work hard, keeping my kids as my priority and never letting those who question me forget the following:

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.  
-Maya Angelou (rest in peace)

Started from the bottom now were here....

Wow, so here we are... Last lead teach - Done. Hiring observation - Done.  Interview - Done and Hired!  APT - Done and Passed! 3 weeks until graduation, 4 weeks until the residency is done.  5 classes, 4 weeks of work, and an official offer letter between me and an actual break.  By break, I mean, sleep until 10, go for a run, take a nap and not have homework or lesson plans break! I plan to tackle taking back my fitness the way I tackled this program....aggressively.

I'm in the middle of my May visit now.  I am at O'Keeffe SOE (school of excellence) on the eastside of Chi.  I have a co-resident for the first time in my residency.  He's fabulous.  Our host teacher is my mentor's resident from last year.  She's phenomenal...like move scores 20pts phenomenal.  I actually am starting to believe I can do this!

My cohort is down to 18 residents.  We started with 29.  I miss some of them terribly, but respect the hell out of anyone who leaves the program if they don't believe it's for them.  The amount of humility it has taken to get through this program gracefully is unreal.  I don't agree with all the choices and decisions, and want to scream at leadership sometimes to share with them mistakes I see being made from a "manager's" lens, but I am happy to say, I truly understand where my value is in THIS world...for the next couple years at least.  

I am going to be a middle school teacher at Dvorak on the westside (the best side!)  I met my new principal, albeit, for 15 minutes, but she seems like the kind of visionary I will thrive under.  My middle school team has 3 other residents from the CTR on it.  3 strong, competent, driven, amazing women.  We are all strong as individuals, but will be fierce as a team.

I have to say, to all the naysayers of turnaround, spreading misinformation about "privatization" of more schools and the lies about additional funding from CPS, and just all around bad media (including Karen Lewis, who I will NEVER consider a representative of me as a teacher) come visit O'Keeffe and check out what's up.  In fact, come check out Dvorak next spring.  I promise you, the momentary change the babies experience will be overcome by the positive influx of passion, creativity, work ethic, and love.  Yes, if there is one thing every resident still standing in this program does, its LOVE our babies hard.  Enough to work hard to understand parent misconceptions and difficulties.  Enough to take on the challenge of working 10x as hard as any first year teacher to make up for a system that has failed our children since as far back as they can remember.  Enough to leave perceptions, negativity and gossip at the door.

I have another week and a half at my May visit site, and then I am back to Johnson.  I miss my babies terribly.  I know I am not their "main" teacher, but I still consider them mine too.  I think the hardest part of teaching will be saying goodbye each year....especially to my 8th graders.   However, knowing I have equipped them with some skill, nugget of knowledge, new idea or dream will be enough for me to be able to let go and reflect so I can be even better for my students the following year.

As teachers, we may not see the impact we make on our students in the year, or two years we have them.  But the foundation we lay for the future will be visible to all that come in contact with that child, and we will have had the honor of being called that child's "teacher".

“Nobody remembers the naysayers. In the end, all that endures are the builders, and in the end even the builders are forgotten and all that endures are the ripples of what they built, and that’s good — that’s a good thing.” -Bill Clinton

The Struggle is Real....

In a rare twist of events, I went to dinner last night with some friends from CPS (Chicago public schools) that I used to work with in OSI (office of school improvement)  All in different roles and places throughout CPS now– an assistant principal, a ITS manager, an interim deputy chief,  a network data strategist , a principal, and me, a teacher.  It was so good to catch up on babies and new houses, on gossip and wine, but most importantly to hear the good work everyone is doing for a school district that everyone loves to hate, but I am damn proud to work for.  Every department I have worked for in CPS I have been proud of the work and the people I work with – from grants management at the helm of Dr. Kayleen Irizarry, to OSI led by Dr. Donald Fraynd,  to Al Raby HS under the leadership of Dr. Femi Skanes, and of course, my current position as resident teacher in the Chicago Teacher Residency in the AUSL network under the leadership of  Dr. Donald Feinstein and Dr. Jarvis Sanford.  

In addition to the leadership, the people I serve with are no joke either.  In my current role, my mentor Keviyona Ray is beyond committed to the cause, my cohort 043, I couldn't be prouder to be among such amazing individuals, and the teachers and admin at Johnson Elementary.   My time in OSI was time spent among some of the most devoted, loyal people  I have ever met…Randel Josserand, Kelly Weiss, Gavin Doughty, Alfonso Tapia, Ellen Kennedy, Leigh Anne Larsen.  Al Raby HS, the single biggest blessing in my career so far - being able to work with people like Coach D, Jessica Johnson, Meyer Reynolds, Chinelle Burrage, Joemeika Davis, Kristen Yenior, Chloe Bentley, Brandon Draper and my work husband/brother - Jamal Little.  …. And my start at CPS in Grants with my manager, Heather Wendell and our grants “dream team” – Guido Volpe, Emilia Badrov, Tabatha Koylass and Leonore Draper.   

So to wake up this morning and read the Tribune Police blotter, as I always do to check on my kids and their neighborhoods, to come across a name I know, was a nightmare come true.

Leonore Draper aka “Lee” was one of the funniest, kindest, most determined women I knew.  She was one of the first people I met at CPS.  She was charged with showing me the ropes in Grants Management.  She let me tag along for lunch when I knew no one, and introduced me to all the people I needed to know to get work done as I took over the IDEA grants from her so she could move on to other grant work.  She made the work place fun, and had this insane sense of humor that almost made you laugh every time you looked at her.   From our Friday dances, to listening in to crazy co-workers on the other side of the wall, it was good to be in the trenches with her.  She was real.  She went so far beyond serving  at CPS as well.  A girl scout leader, a crusader for MS on behalf of her loving husband Jason, and a proponent and supporter or Project Orange Tree the youth anti-violence group formed in response to Hadiya Pendleton’s death.  In fact she was coming home from an event for this cause when she was shot and killed.  Lee.  A real friend.  A real person.  Doing real work. She’s gone.   Shot in a drive by, in front of her damn house, coming home from an anti-violence charity event.  Yes.  I am f*cking mad.

We are mandated to live in Chicago if we want to work at CPS. Lee and her husband Jason had bought a home in  the west Pullman neighborhood  just 3 years ago or so.  She was so proud.  Her house warming was an all out party.  And now, she’s gone.  Why?  Was it a mistaken identity, or a shot at someone behind her car that ran, or did Lee have the balls to say something to one of the god damn punks in her neighborhood that posted on a corner and now they were pissed?  She was like that, you know.  She stood up for stuff.   

Lee’s death will not be in vain.  For me at least, it will push me to reach deeper, every time I look into those blank, dark eyes of a child who tells me he doesn’t care, and find something for him to live for besides the streets.  I will push parents hard, I won’t accept, “I can’t do anything with him” as a response.  I will RTI early and often.  I will not forget that difference we can make with our words which may be the difference between pushing a kid TOWARDS the streets or pulling him in another direction.   I will not be angry at the kids I know who are in gangs, but preach what is real and what they can be- beyond the streets.  Someone gave up on the kid that shot Leonore Draper along the way.  I won’t be that person.  Her death will not be in vain. And to the city of Chicago, I hope to God, this become the catalyst you finally need to grow a set and recognize we cannot handle this problem alone anymore.  We need help.  Innocent people are dying every day.  Kids are dying every day.  

Taken too soon.  RIP Lee.  #stoptheviolence  #justiceforleonore

Project Bookshelf

Project Bookshelf

The saying, “it take a village” is never more true than when talking about education.  When I began my journey into education, I recognized from the start, I will always need more than I have to give...financially.  Anyone who knows me, knows I never have an issue asking for donations when it comes to my kids.  

One of my best friends, Marni and I used to talk about how we would collaborate with our classrooms or schools when I became a teacher.  Marni is a spanish teacher at Lake Forest High School in Lake Forest, IL.  It seemed like forever ago that we fantasized about how we could bring two different worlds together, in the name of education and kids.  Also, it would be remiss of me to not add, Marni has been my biggest advocate on this journey from day 1!  From the career change, to the move from administration to the classroom, she had been behind me 100%.  

So at the beginning of the year when we discussed a possible idea of a book drive with some students I was excited!  I figured I would be that much further ahead for my classroom and students next year, when I get my own classroom.  A couple hundred books would make a world of difference for my classroom library as a literacy teacher!  

What happen was unexpected and humbling to say the least.

Marni told me that the Freshman student council was excited and had taken it upon themselves to have a freshman class project which would be entitled, “Project Bookshelf”.  Students were going to bring in books over the course of the next couple months under the guidance of their staff advisor, Ms. Rogna.  A couple weeks in, Marni told me they were expecting close to 300 books!  I was so excited!  In addition, the kids were making a bookshelf that they all were going to sign.  We made arrangements for me to come out and meet the kids and thank them during their student council meeting in the morning before school.

As the book drive came close to and end, on the last day, Marni began updating me, “there are 500 books so far...and it’s only 3rd period”. I was overwhelmed.  That’s a classroom right there! What happen then was beyond anything I could have expected.  The freshman student body at Lake Forest high school had collected 1500 BOOKS!   I was humbled and moved beyond belief.  

1500 books.  As I drove out to Lake Forest on a Thursday morning, I tried to think how I could express to these kids what this will mean to MY kids.  I brought donuts as a small gesture of thanks (because kids are kids!)  but when I got up to thank them verbally, it just flowed. I told them while we may take for granted the ease of access of a good book, it is not so easy for all kids.  I referenced a student in my classroom this year who literally loses herself in books and I am convinced on some level, keeps her grounded and focused.  No student should ever feel access to good literature is a gift.  All children, from Lake Forest, to North Lawndale, to Lincoln Park to Roseland deserve the same access and availability of books.  I pulled several books already for that student I referenced.  I can't wait to give them to her.  

Thank you Marni Levinson, Cindy Rogna and Lake Forest Freshman Class for helping bridge the gap one book at a time!

Be Flexible!

4 weeks until spring break.  In those 4 weeks we will have completed our spring lead teach, received a formal observation by an AUSL Administrator, completed our teacher work sample, given the lessons, collected and processed the data, ended quarter 3 AND began quarter 4 (another 4 class quarter) and last but not least, taken our APT test, a 5 hour test that will determine if we are able to get our teaching license.  4 weeks.  Sometime during this period, turnaround schools will be announced, communities will rally to stop them, and the air itself will become so thick you can cut it with a knife. But not to worry.....because if I am anything now, I am flexible!

Now, I have no problem with "being flexible" but tell me this, when did "being flexible" become synonymous with "adapting your schedule and time to others because they haven't gotten their work done or basically have their shit together."  I'm just curious.  And, while we are at it, bigger picture, why is this ok in an industry that should be more urgent than ANY in existence??   I am going to be teaching ( God-willing) for a while, but when and if I become an administrator, I'm going to have a few things to say.

We (educators) want to be treated with as much respect as people treat bankers and lawyers, but that can't happen when we don't act as professional as they do.  24 hour email turnaround times and listening to your voicemails is the BARE MINIMUM.  Yes, family time is important, it's important to doctors, lawyers and bankers too.  But honestly, especially if you are working within the constraints of our lowest performing schools, clocking out at 5 on friday and not returning emails until sunday night or monday morning when there are monday deliverables is not acceptable.  I am not saying work through the weekend, but honestly, the lack of accountability is shocking to me.

When I worked under Dr. Donald Fraynd in OSI, we all were absolutely on the other end of the spectrum.  Being available 24/7 was acceptable, and with the exception of well deserved vacations, we never hesitated to call, email or text each other at any time.  Sure, this may not have been the healthiest of environments for all, but we actually took the CPS mantra (which used to be on the CPS id badges) "EVERY STUDENT, EVERY DAY" to heart.

Now, I know lots of people are going to have plenty to say about this, and that's ok.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion.  But the truth of the matter is while bankers quote, "Money never sleeps"  do the streets of Chicago ever stop pulling at our kids?  Does school climate and culture take a break from being chaotic when we peace out?  Does a student's ability to read progress with 1 hour of reading a day and nothing beyond that?

How do we find a happy medium that gives our students and the environments they spend their days in, a fighting chance?  Does poor planning and a complete lack of organization contribute to the need for over communication?  Are we (CPS) training our leaders to be leaders, and arm them with skills such as organization, good communication, smart business sense, ability to empower others, and delegation??

We criticize charter schools and private, but only in these environments can leaders be creative and require what is necessary and not what is required by the district  (these are different things for sure), or have longer school days without a march down LaSalle street.  Charter organizations like KIPP and Noble are doing some AMAZING things and I truly believe, CPS proper has the potential to be amazing as well.  But it starts with stopping the bullshit request for everyone to "be flexible".   We just don't have that kind of time.  What would happen, if for 1 year, every person who touched kids in CPS, from the grant claims department at central office to the teacher, to the city year staff pushed themselves like it was their last chance every day?

I will continue to "be flexible" because I am just a resident and my thoughts and opinions are not requested at this time.  But watch out CPS because like a phoenix rising you will know when I am empowered with the true ability to affect change on a larger scale.  I hope you're not sleeping when it happens.

Good luck to all the residents starting their lead teach this week!  Go change some lives!!!

I'm kind of over getting told to put my hands up in the air....

So another month down, another 4 days added to the end of the school year.   I get it, I do really.  Perspective changes EVERYTHING.  Knowing 50%+ of our babies don't wear appropriate winter clothing due to various circumstance and walk to school was enough of a case for them to call it.  I mean, the suburbs did, so....

The missed days meant our 2 day winter turnaround visit turned into a one day visit.  One day to do a class profile and build relationships with kids that we most likely will teach when we take over the classroom in May.  I  actually like the strategy.  We used to do it in OSI (office of school improvement) with our teachers.  We would stick them in either one of the closing schools or another turnaround and make them teach a lesson.  It was full of great successes as well as awesome meltdowns and tears.  Better to find out now than a month into school and you abandon the kids.

So I know I'm all over the place, but stay with me.

I knew going into this residency and more importantly, a new career/teaching, I would have to start at the bottom again and work my way up to where ever it is I see myself landing.  I'm not a stranger to hard work, and understand sacrifice.  I also know less than more about this field, so I have more to learn than to share.  I have many, many manger/mentor/teacher/bosses right now who ALL have an agenda, and a list of deliverables and some are competing.   I am learning what questions to ask, and when to just keep my mouth shut.  That doesn't mean I don't journal, and keep notes of what I won't do as well as what I will, but I just don't share what I THINK all the time.  I also have my amazing mentor and friend Mrs. Ray.  Thank God.  When I think it's a good idea to share, ask, respond, she ever so un- eloquently tells me to shut the ___ up.  We have had some doozies too.  Like all on screaming, but at least I feel a better teacher-to-be for it.  I think she prefers the direct mode of communication too.   My Mentor-resident coach would have a meltdown if she every heard us.  LOL.

Anyway, hiring season is now upon us and the list of demands continues.  Videotape this, respond here, upload that, interview x students, observe _# of classes....  I'm not gonna lie, it's awesome the amount I am learning through all of this but OH MY GOD I can barely pee without asking someone!  Like literally, at NLU, there are some professors that would like to be asked when you need to excuse yourself.  Sorry, draw the line there folks, I'm forty-freaking-two years old.  Can't do it.

So onto more important stuff...THE KIDS.  We have a girl in our class, Destiny, who is the self proclaimed "Bop Queen" of the westside.  She is, indeed, amazing.  She get's paid to be in local videos and is going to NY to be on 106 and park.   Another student, Maurio, made a rap song and apparently a video to go along with it.  God love him, but it is REALLY bad.  He's happy though and hopefully he can pull it together and finish the year strong academically.  He definitely does not have a future in rap!  About half the 8th grade class is on the basketball team.  I'm a screaming fool at these games.  Luckily Ms. Kerwin, a fellow resident, is just as into them as I am and lets the ref know when he's making a mistake (Like letting a 6 foot kid throw from the wrong free throw line. He could almost touch the hoop from where he was standing!)

The Kids are readjusting to me being in front of them and I am regaining my emotional constancy.  Meaning, trying not the lose my shit in front of kids.  It's an acquired skill for sure.  I am working hard at it.

Last, I have been reflecting on the pain some of our kids are in, be it abuse, or the loss of a relative or friend to the streets and gang fighting.  It is so unfair, yet, as Mrs. Henry our Principal told us at the beginning of they year, "we do them (the students) no favor by feeling sorry for them and not pushing them as hard if not harder than a child without these struggles."  They are fighting to beat the odds and we are their stacked deck.  We have to push them to greatness.  They all have it in them!  A girl who is already struggling beyond words lost both a cousin and a friend to gun violence this past weekend.  She's very guarded and has been so rough to deal with, rarely makes it through a full day if she does come to school.  But man, I could see pain in her eyes today and something in me was compelled to ask her if I could give her a hug.  She hugged me back.  Hard.

Thanks for the continued support!  XOXO