I'm kind of over getting told to put my hands up in the air....

So another month down, another 4 days added to the end of the school year.   I get it, I do really.  Perspective changes EVERYTHING.  Knowing 50%+ of our babies don't wear appropriate winter clothing due to various circumstance and walk to school was enough of a case for them to call it.  I mean, the suburbs did, so....

The missed days meant our 2 day winter turnaround visit turned into a one day visit.  One day to do a class profile and build relationships with kids that we most likely will teach when we take over the classroom in May.  I  actually like the strategy.  We used to do it in OSI (office of school improvement) with our teachers.  We would stick them in either one of the closing schools or another turnaround and make them teach a lesson.  It was full of great successes as well as awesome meltdowns and tears.  Better to find out now than a month into school and you abandon the kids.

So I know I'm all over the place, but stay with me.

I knew going into this residency and more importantly, a new career/teaching, I would have to start at the bottom again and work my way up to where ever it is I see myself landing.  I'm not a stranger to hard work, and understand sacrifice.  I also know less than more about this field, so I have more to learn than to share.  I have many, many manger/mentor/teacher/bosses right now who ALL have an agenda, and a list of deliverables and some are competing.   I am learning what questions to ask, and when to just keep my mouth shut.  That doesn't mean I don't journal, and keep notes of what I won't do as well as what I will, but I just don't share what I THINK all the time.  I also have my amazing mentor and friend Mrs. Ray.  Thank God.  When I think it's a good idea to share, ask, respond, she ever so un- eloquently tells me to shut the ___ up.  We have had some doozies too.  Like all on screaming, but at least I feel a better teacher-to-be for it.  I think she prefers the direct mode of communication too.   My Mentor-resident coach would have a meltdown if she every heard us.  LOL.

Anyway, hiring season is now upon us and the list of demands continues.  Videotape this, respond here, upload that, interview x students, observe _# of classes....  I'm not gonna lie, it's awesome the amount I am learning through all of this but OH MY GOD I can barely pee without asking someone!  Like literally, at NLU, there are some professors that would like to be asked when you need to excuse yourself.  Sorry, draw the line there folks, I'm forty-freaking-two years old.  Can't do it.

So onto more important stuff...THE KIDS.  We have a girl in our class, Destiny, who is the self proclaimed "Bop Queen" of the westside.  She is, indeed, amazing.  She get's paid to be in local videos and is going to NY to be on 106 and park.   Another student, Maurio, made a rap song and apparently a video to go along with it.  God love him, but it is REALLY bad.  He's happy though and hopefully he can pull it together and finish the year strong academically.  He definitely does not have a future in rap!  About half the 8th grade class is on the basketball team.  I'm a screaming fool at these games.  Luckily Ms. Kerwin, a fellow resident, is just as into them as I am and lets the ref know when he's making a mistake (Like letting a 6 foot kid throw from the wrong free throw line. He could almost touch the hoop from where he was standing!)

The Kids are readjusting to me being in front of them and I am regaining my emotional constancy.  Meaning, trying not the lose my shit in front of kids.  It's an acquired skill for sure.  I am working hard at it.

Last, I have been reflecting on the pain some of our kids are in, be it abuse, or the loss of a relative or friend to the streets and gang fighting.  It is so unfair, yet, as Mrs. Henry our Principal told us at the beginning of they year, "we do them (the students) no favor by feeling sorry for them and not pushing them as hard if not harder than a child without these struggles."  They are fighting to beat the odds and we are their stacked deck.  We have to push them to greatness.  They all have it in them!  A girl who is already struggling beyond words lost both a cousin and a friend to gun violence this past weekend.  She's very guarded and has been so rough to deal with, rarely makes it through a full day if she does come to school.  But man, I could see pain in her eyes today and something in me was compelled to ask her if I could give her a hug.  She hugged me back.  Hard.

Thanks for the continued support!  XOXO