Mama Said There'd be Days Like This

So progress reports came out this week, ironically the same week the residents (that's me) received our first cycle scorecard evaluation.  So let me start by saying I understand I am in a new career track which will have all sorts of new areas of growth and concepts to master.  AUSL also does a fairly good job of preparing us for what a first scorecard will look/read like.  We are scored in the four domain areas of the Danielson model which CPS uses as well, also referred to as the Teaching for Learning Framework.  I was familiar with this framework from my previous work in OSI so there wasn't much of a surprise.  For those of you not familiar with Charlotte Danielson here is her website where you can read about the framework and the 4 Domains: Danielson Framework

So you may be rated as unsatisfactory, basic, proficient or distinguished, and with that, either plus or minus each of the ratings as well.  Given that we have been in the classroom 5 weeks, it is irrational to believe we would rate a proficient or distinguished, especially those of us that have never taught.  So, when I received my score card of mostly basic, basic - and basic +  I was not surprised.  My mentor and mentor resident coach had suggested I do a scorecard on myself and I was fairly closely aligned to what my scorecard from my mentor was.  I did, however, receive one unsatisfactory.  Now given my understanding that unsatisfactory doesn't mean failure and it sheds light on room for growth, I would normally be ok, but my unsatisfactory came in the category for Professionalism.  Ok, I know, not a huge surprise.  And given some conversations my mentor and I have had, I suppose I should have expected it.  I have always spoken my mind with a sort of disregard for the repercussions...be them good or bad.

 I don't believe anyone would say I am nasty or ruthless, to say the least, I like to think I fight for what is right.  But what is right in my mind, is not always right in the minds and missions of others.  I may or may not have had some issues with "grey areas" and said how I felt about it in the past couple weeks. This is not to say I am unhappy in the least.  I love my school and believe administration has a very clear mission and objective that is not difficult to understand at all.  But schools are naturally inefficient machines, forcibly by the nature of competing standards, agendas, missions, and passions.  While the CTU is not extremely present in an AUSL school, you still have your fair share of teachers who come to work for a paycheck.  It's unavoidable.  And you still have your fair share of teachers who LOVE their content area and fight the machine that is assessment-based teaching.   Also, you have silos of workers - teachers, ESP (ie paraprofessionals, security), administrators, custodial/engineering, SEL (social emotional) ie counselors.  Each is there for an important reason, each a cog in the machine that is a school.  Without one, you would feel the heaviness that would be put upon you now with their absence.  But at times, missions in the moment do not align and the result is small conflicts.  How you deal with the small conflicts is what makes the difference.

I am learning I do not have to fight for my mission every moment.  At times, another cog's mission, in that moment is more important, and I need to keep my mouth shut and "carry on".  It doesn't mean I am defeated, nor does it mean I have lost my opportunity to make my point.  It just means that may not be the time and place.  This valuable lesson may have help alleviate some heartache in my previous profession, although the level of ruthlessness when dealing with money is antied so high, people lose the ability to behave rationally, so maybe I was meant to learn this lesson now.  As my friend and outside-AUSL mentor said this week, "God is teaching you patience Carrie Ann".  To that I say,
A. she is one of only 3 people I allow to call me Carrie Ann, and;
B. she is right.  Every moment I stop to reflect and learn from mistakes I have made, the past week, month or even year will make me a better educator and advocate for my students.  So, for this week, I am "basic and unsatisfactory" and look forward to applying what I have learned from these moments to move on.

One of my co-residents posted this quote on FB this week and being that is was also from Kelly Cutrone whom I LOVE I have to re-post here.  It is the mantra for my week and month:

"sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel really fucking evil. And you can't be birthed again until you've died.” 
-Kelly Cutrone

It's on.....

So, we are in the thick of it now.  In the classroom full-time, teaching, observing, lesson planning and full time grad school.  It's on.

Lesson plans are due to my mentor teacher by Saturday at 11am.  Then, her feedback is due back to me by 2pm on Sunday so I can submit them by 8pm on Sunday night.  Class meets on Friday and homework from those classes is usually due the following Friday.  I am at work generally from 7am - 6pm (usually later) so by the time I get home, time for homework is minimal.  So getting it done on the weekends is a good plan...for me.

I also have decided to set some fitness goals again since without them, I don't allow myself the time I desperately need to workout.  Goals are TBD, I am sure I will let you know.

My mentor teacher is really a great teacher and extremely patient.  With the students and with me.  We have different styles - I am a perfectionist with OCD tendencies, and she is a go with the flow, don't stress the small stuff type.  I know I can learn a lot from her, as teaching is fluid and NEVER goes as planned.  I am hoping she receives some value from working with me as well.  She has shared she wants to move into administration and my anal tendencies can help her in that arena!

I taught my first lessons this week.  As a reminder, AUSL subscribes to  Lemov, "Teach Like a Champion" so before I begin, I command 100%, and Check for Understanding constantly.  I also do a lot of narration while the students are working independently.  Let me say again, I do A LOT OF NARRATION...(LOL anyone in the residency can feel my pain).  All kidding aside, it's awesome practice.  I also get real time coached by my Mentor teacher Ms. Ray.  We discussed what I would prefer - real time, notes, discussion after.  I told her if I am doing something that can be corrected immediately, let me know.  The kids are used to the coaching so it's not shocking to them when she says something.  There's constantly people in and out of  the room, as well as video taping.

We are using a literacy concept called Close Reading,  as well.  It helps the students relate and understand what they are reading instead of just surface reading, which, we are all guilty of doing I am sure.  Finding Aha moments, contradictions and tough questions allows the students to dig into the story.  It's so awesome seeing a kid light up when they get it!

I had to also make my first round of parent calls this week.  All of my calls were surprisingly met with extremely concerned and supportive parents, grandparents and aunts.  One father called me the next day to ask how his daughter's behavior had been.  I know one call can't change all behaviors, but I am excited to be able to make some positive calls this week coming up!

Saturday I went to my student's football game.  AUSL schools play tackle football so the games are awesome.  I think some of the boys were surprised to see me there.  I got lots of sweaty little football player hugs, which is such a beautiful contradiction.  They slaughtered Casals 27-0.  I was so proud of them.  While we were there, we spied a woman walking the track with a Johnson track warm up on.  The number on her hoodie was 30 and on the sweatpants was 16.  It was then shared with us that the track warmups had been stolen out of the storage along with some other stuff.  It was kind of a riot watching her walk around, in a stolen warm up uniform, no clue probably that Johnson was playing on the field next to her and we all worked for Johnson.  Or she could care less!

Friday we started classes again and it was like a family reunion!  It was so awesome to see my cohort!  #43 woohoo!  Hearing everyone's stories, how they are doing, sharing lesson ideas...it was such a great day!

So my big goal this week is patience.  Patience with the process, patience with my students, patience with myself.  I am anxious by nature so this will be a challenge, but no different than all the other challenges put before me!

First week of School!

Week one is in the books!  It was one of the most amazing, scary, fun, awful, hysterical, crazy, confusing, perfect weeks of my life.  Let me explain...

So I am an 8th grade resident teacher.  From day 1, my Mentor, Mrs. Ray, has treated me as just another teacher in the room, her equal.  It helps me a lot so that when I begin to teach the class on my own, which is sooner rather than later, the tone is set.   So when young Monifah shared she didn't want me to answer her question, she wanted the REAL teacher to answer her question, I SWEAR Ms. Ray came flying out of the ceiling and said, "Oh she's a real teacher, and you're going to ask her your question."  This was day 1.

Let's back track to discuss the expectations for week one at Johnson School of Excellence.  Like most schools and teachers, the first week is spent getting to build rapport with your students and lay down the rules and expectations for the year.  It is fair to say, if you do not share them, they really cannot be accountable to them.  So we discuss the "Wildcat Ways" which include being SAFE, READY, RESPONSIBLE,  and RESPECTFUL.  If you can manage to maintain these "ways" as a student, you really should be able to have a productive year.  Seems logical and fair doesn't it?

My mentor teacher is a veteran so we were able to move along quickly and actually, she had some of the students the year before, so there was rapport built already.  I was able to do so as well but know it will take me a couple weeks to gain any trust and I can appreciate that.  She will stop a class dead in it's tracks if she doesn't have 100% attention and refocus.  She's like a machine.  It's awesome.  I love that she reminds the class several times a day that, "we're here on business" but also that she cares about and loves them.  It seems so effortless watching her do it.

The times I had full control of the class they didn't completely lose it.  I did need to refocus a couple times (meaning bring them back to "scholar position" which is books closed, hands folded, and eyes tracking the speaker.)  Each time I did, I was able to get 100% and continue with the lesson or transition.  I know the kids are still testing me, and it's so hard to not be able to smile much and have to stare them down, but I sneak a smile here and there and I haven't hesitated to pull a student aside and explain that I here to help them realize their goals and dreams...get to the best high school they can get to and be college-ready.   I got a couple hugs to balance the couple glares so all in all I felt it was a good week.

Last but not least, parents, if you ever want to get your child's teacher, or a teacher in your family an AWESOME gift, get them a gift certificate to a shoe store!  Trust.  It will be appreciated.

(Here is the link to my presentation from my Social Justice class on the comparative discussion of suburban vs urban teachers: 
 http://prezi.com/rf7_bdw8zlk1/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy)