Still I Rise...

4 days until graduation.  AUSL graduation that is.  11 days until NLU and the Residency is completed.  This is the home stretch and yet I am reluctant to completely exhale - yet.  There is a still a presentation to complete for a class, 4 more classes, 8th grade ribbon pinning, 8th grade luncheon, 8th grade graduation.  But in a blink of an eye it is going to be over.  Technically, my first class of kids.  I'm going to sob like a baby at their graduation.

Friday night we chaperoned the middle school dance.  The kids ate pizza, and drank snow cones, and DANCED!  I don't mean like move around a little on the floor...my westside babies bring it!  So much so, that they convince Mrs. Ray and I to Nae Nae (ridiculous dance).  It was a sight I am sure. Saturday we took the 8th grade to Dave and Busters for a class trip.  It was fun to be outside the school with the kids and just relaxed - no level zero, no checking for understanding, and no do it again unless it was me winning tickets!  LOL

I received a MOU (memorandum of understanding) from my principal (for next year) so that I may commit to AUSL and all they require and she may begin staffing us.  I am trying to not be over anxious and keep in mind all I know from working with various administrators - less is more. Meaning, at this point she is overwhelmed with start up for her new school and the last thing she needs is lots and lots of emails from teachers.  Yet, I want to email her everyday and tell her how excited I am and offer ways to help.  But I don't, because that would make me crazy :)

I have been on autopilot for a minute now, and today, my principal (current school) caught me off guard.  I was in the office faxing something for award plaques or something and usually she doesn't really acknowledge me, but today she did.  We politely chatted, and then she asked me, " So, Ms. Ohannes, did you ever think you weren't going to make it?"  I didn't hesitate because at forty-freaking-three there are some things you just don't pause for because you know...so I said, "no, I never had a doubt I would make it. Some days were rough, and I cried, but there was never a doubt I was coming back the next day." To which she replied, "there were days I didn't think you'd make it....you've come a long way."  Now,  I have to be honest, while this is the most difficult thing I have ever done,  there was never a thought or a possibility in my mind that it just, "wouldn't work out."  I didn't make this decision over light beers at a frat party with a damn alt rock band playing in the background.  I changed my life.  So no, I never had the thought I wouldn't make it....and isn't that a good thing?  I would usually end my interaction with her upon her verbal pinch, but I couldn't this time.  I responded, "at 43, just giving up isn't an option.  Actually, I've never had that option and don't foresee it in the near future especially now.  Furthermore, the difficult days didn't define me."

There are some things I have learned through this experience, one of which is, everyone does not want to see you succeed.  I mean, I knew that in the business world, but I guess I figured it would be different when the commodity is children.  Sadly, it is not.  Furthermore, I cannot assume my passion to eventually go into school leadership will be well received by all.  In fact, there will be those that don't believe I belong there....for various reasons, but that's ok.   There were individuals this year that purposely kept me from leadership opportunities within the program - but that's ok. All I can do in continue to work hard, keeping my kids as my priority and never letting those who question me forget the following:

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.  
-Maya Angelou (rest in peace)